Author Archives: Kristen

Should you Stay Married for the Kids?

A lot of people go through life within a perpetually confused or ambivalent state because things aren’t so bad. In this state of confusion, they cannot be asked to make a determination, so they will rationalize remaining with their partner, waiting around for something to occur that will make it clearer as to if they ought to keep the marriage together or not.

For other people, a fear of the unknown is merely too daunting; therefore, they become numb or make themselves busy to make life with their spouse bearable (for instance, by alcohol/drug addiction, workaholism, and excessive spending). In a few instances, this fear of leaving isn’t about unknown circumstances, instead, it’s the known which paralyzes them.

If you are tired of sacrificing your happiness and are ready to move ahead with your divorce, contact our Chicago divorce attorney office at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.

Most of the individuals who divorce have had an idea that their relationship was over before they started to really separate physically. When asked of these individuals what the reason was for not exiting sooner, the main reason given is, ‘because of the children.’ There isn’t any doubt that all parents who have stated this believe wholeheartedly that it was a selfless and noble reason to remain.  Sacrificing their happiness and staying seems as if it’s the right thing to do.

Oftentimes, the ones who feel dedicated to keeping the marriage together to this level are kids of divorce themselves. They’ll vow that they won’t put their kids through what they were left to go through. What they do not comprehend is that they may get divorced or separated differently than their parents and spare the kids a lot of what they suffered. How the pair divorces will do more to decide how well kids will react than the simple truth that they divorced.

While I’d concur that being a great parent will entail giving up a huge piece of yourself each day, I additionally understand that you can’t give what you do not have. If you aren’t happy, your kids undoubtedly will feel that and suffer a little, too, even if you do not believe your unhappiness shows. Kids are impacted negatively by being exposed to a tense, loveless, angry environment, irrespective of the circumstances where it has been created. They’re impacted more deeply due to them not having yet built the level of defenses up that we have. It’s like they have half of the thickness of skin we adults do. The great news is that they ARE more resilient than we adults are, permitting them to recover quicker from unhealthy environments.

As you remain in an unhappy, unfulfilling, or abusive marriage, kids come to think that marriages are experiences which entail pain, suffering, and a gradual death. You aren’t happy, your partner isn’t happy and, consequently, your children aren’t happy. The world does not need more married individuals for the sake of having married individuals – it should have more happy individuals!

If you are tired of sacrificing your happiness and are ready to move ahead with your divorce, contact our Chicago divorce attorney office at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.

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What Happens During the First Meeting With your Divorce Lawyer?

What should occur at the initial meeting?

 
It’ll depend upon what is happening within the divorce case. In a few cases, divorce papers already have been filed, whereas in additional cases, the partners already have discussed divorce and pledged to utilize a collaborative divorce process, instead of all out ‘litigation’ (which means to fight it out in court). Lastly, a few clients are faced with an emergency – their partner might be draining the bank account, anticipating the divorce, or they might be the victim of domestic abuse and have to have instant protection from the court. The circumstances of the client is going to dictate what’s discussed and which actions are taken as a consequence of the initial meeting.

 
Though typically, a client walks in with general questions in regard to a recently-filed or an impending divorce, and the majority of attorneys will assess the various processes of divorce which are available (litigation, mediation, and collaborative law) and explain the steps for each.

 
If you are ready to face that first meeting with a Chicago divorce attorney call us at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.
Additionally, a lawyer ought to ask lots of questions. It is vital that the lawyer attempt to get to know the client as an individual and study as much as possible concerning the client’s children (if any) and spouse. A lawyer should attempt to get a good understanding of the financial and psychological situation the client is in so he or she is able to make any needed referrals to divorce coaches, psychotherapists, financial planners and/or estate attorneys for specialized advice.
Most divorce lawyers work closely with additional professionals to be certain all of their clients’ divorce-associated questions are appropriately answered. Keep in mind, a lawyer isn’t and can’t act as a psychologist or tax advisor, for instance, so it is crucial that divorcing partner’s employ the proper professionals and keep their lawyers informed.
Evaluate relevant divorce-associated problems
It is impossible to exactly predict what is going to ‘occur’ in a divorce, yet it is ideal to address all of the major problems which might arise, like:
• Division of debts and property
• Alimony- whether it ought to be paid, and if the answer is yes, how long and for how much
• Child support
• Custody of minor kids
At the conclusion of the initial meeting, clients usually exit with homework that involves studying as much as possible regarding the couple’s finances, as far as liabilities, assets, and ongoing costs. In most marriages, only a single partner is in charge of the finances. But, prior to a divorce being resolved, both partners must have a full understanding of the couple’s debts, assets, and incomes. If you are able to offer lots of detail about the finances at the initial meeting with your new attorney, that meeting is going to be a lot more productive.
If you are ready to face that first meeting with a Chicago divorce attorney call us at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.
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Are you REALLY ready to file for Separation?

Whether you refer to it as a divorce or separation, deciding that you want to split is a decision which never should be taken lightly. There’s always a time in which space is required between your partner and you, and space occasionally can be a healthy decision. It permits both parties to have the ability to rationally consider the ideal method of handling the duty at hand, and to talk about a possible compromise. There’s never a clear indication of when the ideal time is to end your marriage; therefore, taking ‘one final shot at mending your relationship’ is something you might have to attempt many times.

If, after exhausting all these possibilities and you still feel that divorce is inevitable speak with one of our Chicago divorce attorneys at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.

Therefore consider this: If you’re considering separation, determine how your partner and you might take time apart, without having to make any spontaneous decisions, and taking the time to consider solutions. Unsure how much time you should take? As long as it takes! There isn’t any reason to dive head first into a separation or a divorce, therefore just play it out, then see how it goes, it can’t get any worse as you already feel you are at the end of the rope.

As you’ve taken the time to think and come to a few possible choices for the two of you, prepare a time to collect together and talk about them. Make it a special time; go to a park or out to dinner. Go anyplace where it’s a relaxing environment and you are able to think clearly and stay calm. Have patience with your spouse, closely listen and permit them to fully speak prior to you taking your turn. Make notations if you must, if you want to have the ability to respond to what they’re saying without being concerned with forgetting what you had to say or interrupting. As both of you have completed your thoughts, see what type of solution is ideal for the two of you.

If you both had the ability to reach a solution together, excellent! If not, think about speaking with a counselor, because a 3rd party assists in disarming any excessive frustration, because they are able to mediate between the both of you. If you’ve attempted counseling before and it didn’t work the way you’d hoped, or your spouse refused to go, attempt counseling online. There are more couples taking online courses, because it’s more comfortable than having to sit with somebody who isn’t part of the relationship. By talking over things in an Internet environment, it permits you the same advice, without as much invasion of privacy.

If, after exhausting all these possibilities and you still feel that divorce is inevitable speak with one of our Chicago divorce attorneys at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.

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How to Tell the Kids about your Divorce

 

 

As parents determine to divorce, it’s only fair to be truthful with the kids. Depending upon the ages of the children and family dynamics, some already may be well alert to the fact that there are issues, whereas others might not have any clue about what’s going on. If you have further questions about the Chicago child custody process, contact us today at our Illinois child custody lawyer office at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.

Ideally it’s best to collect together as a family to inform the kids of an impending separation or divorce. Doing so will present a united front. It will show the kids that although you’re getting divorced, both of you still love them and are united within your responsibility to them. Also, it permits a chance for the kids to get answers and ask questions of both parents.

  • During the family meeting it is vital to remain focused. It is not the time for placing blame, arguing, or belittling your partner. Decide beforehand what you’re going to say to the kids. Be certain that it’s age appropriate.
  • Do not assume that the kids really comprehend what a divorce is. It’s your duty as parents to place it into simple words that divorce occurs as two adults no longer can live together. Be certain the kids comprehend that divorce only is between adults.
  • It is not necessary for kids to overhear the details of your break up. What they need to know is that although parents no longer love one another, both of you still love them. Also, they must know that it isn’t their fault that your marriage is ending.
  • Kids usually are filled up with hope that their parents are going to reunite. Do not give your kids false hope that you’ll reconcile. Help them to understand that divorce is the end of a marriage and while it’s a normal emotion for kids to wish for their parents to reconcile, it’s unlikely that it’ll happen.

As the kids do not need to know about the details of your divorce they must to know how it’ll impact them and their day-to-day lives which include new living arrangements. Allow them to know how to communicate with one parent as they’re with the additional parent.

It’s a lot for a youngster of any age to take a situation like this in all at one time. Prepare a follow up family meet in order to answer all questions the kids might have. Keeping all of the lines of communication honest and open may assist in smoothing the period of adjustment.

A good tool for younger kids is this Divorce tool by Sesame Street.

According to the Sesame Street site divorce is amongst the most major transitions in kid’s lives, with 40% of all kids suffering the divorce of their parents. With this divorce tool, Sesame Street has developed resources for families who have young kids (ages 2 – 8) as they go through the rough transitions which come along with divorce.

If you have further questions about the Chicago child custody process, contact us today at our Illinois child custody lawyer office at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.

Uncontested Divorce: What is it?

In the plainest terms, uncontested divorce will mean that the partners have the ability to agree upon the major factors included in getting divorced, involving:

• How they’ll share parenting responsibilities and parenting time

• The duration and amount of child support

• The duration and amount of spousal support

• The division of property

• The division of debt

If they have the ability to get to an agreement, they often can file paperwork without a court appearance, and as soon as the mandatory time period (set by the state law) has passed, the divorce is final.

Not all uncontested divorces are the same, and not all uncontested divorces run smoothly. The process is smoothest as the couple has no minor kids and very few assets, involving no real property. Also it works best if each partner is self-supporting or able to easily become self-supporting. A few states have simplified procedures obtainable for couples within this kind of situation. However, these types of procedures are stringently limited and are only available for marriages which were relatively short usually 5 years or less.

If you have further questions about the Chicago uncontested divorce process, contact us today at our Chicago divorce attorney office at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.

Can Couples who have Substantial Assets or Minor Kids Undergo an Uncontested Divorce?

Couples who have substantial assets or minor children generally will have the ability to move ahead with the uncontested divorce if they have the ability to agree upon all the major factors listed above. The couple which has minor disagreements within one or a few areas might still have the ability to avoid a contested divorce within court, yet they’ll have to negotiate with one another until they’ve reached full agreement. If they have the ability to communicate well, they might have the ability to directly negotiate. If it isn’t feasible they may opt to visit a mediator for assistance in solving their disagreements.

Do you Need Lawyers in Uncontested Divorces?

A pair who hasn’t been married long, as well as has no minor kids to take care of and very few assets to divide, might have the ability to complete the divorce without either partner employing a lawyer, especially if their state possesses a simplified process which will fit their situation. Pairs who have more complicated situations also may move ahead without lawyers, yet with more caution, as one or both of the parties might be giving significant legal rights up.

Couples, in some states who’ve agreed to divorce might file the paperwork jointly. It is common in other states for a couple to agree to the divorce terms, then have one partner employ a lawyer to get the paperwork ready. The couple within this situation has to understand that a lawyer only can represent a single party, and the party that isn’t represented therefore could be at a substantial legal disadvantage—within most instances, unless the unrepresented partner has a great understanding of the law, it is an excellent idea for that partner to employ a lawyer to assess the paperwork prior to the divorce being finalized.

If you have further questions about the Chicago uncontested divorce process, contact us today at our Chicago divorce attorney office at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.

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9 Things to Accomplish When Divorce Is Imminent

 

If you are convinced that the marriage is irretrievably broken and you are headed for divorce, below are 9 measures to take.

Consult a Chicago divorce attorney

Become educated concerning your legal responsibilities and rights.

Copy documents

You should go through household documents and make copies of all things you can find: bank statements, tax returns, investment statements, check registers, employee benefits handbooks, retirement account statements, mortgage documents, life insurance policies, credit card statements, financial statements, Social Security statements, wills, car titles, etc.

Know your household expenses and budget

If you can, go through the check register for the last year and jot down each mortgage, utility, and additional household cost for every month. Track the money spent on a day-to-day basis in order for you to have the ability to ascertain the monthly cash expenditures as well.

Decide how you can manage your family debt

If you can, determine your family debt and think about paying it down prior to divorce. Marital debt allocation amongst divorcing spouses includes one of the most challenging items to negotiate. As you take stock of debt, decide if any of the family debt was incurred by one partner or the other before the marriage date. It’d be ‘non-marital debt’ and will belong to the partner who incurred it.

Figure out what your partner earns

If your partner makes a regular salary, it’s simple to check a pay stub; if your partner owns a business, is self-employed, or gets any part of income in cash, try to do your best to track the funds flowing in for multiple months.

Create an appraisal of your potential for earning

Maybe you’ve been out of the working environment for some time and have been committing yourself to raising the children. Review what your present employability is and if furthering your education before divorce might benefit you in the long term.

Assess your credit history

If you don’t have credit cards within your name, apply now for them, use them, and set up your credit history. If you have bad credit history, attempt to now pay creditors and improve your credit rating before divorce.

Construct your own ‘nest egg’

You always should have accessibility to your own money. If your partner moves out and quits paying bills, you’ll have to pay them until the temporary support orders are entered. If you’re the one who’s filing for divorce, you will require funds for a retainer. Begin to save now and prepare to initiate proceedings for a divorce as you’ve built your own nest egg.

Put your children at the top of your priorities

Within the process of divorce, keep your kid’s routines as regular as you can. If your spouse and you can’t be together with the kids without arguing, make a schedule of different times for both of you to be with your kids.

If you have further questions about the Chicago divorce process, contact us today at our Chicago divorce attorney office at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.

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