Should you Stay Married for the Kids?

 Posted on April 29, 2014 in Uncategorized

A lot of people go through life within a perpetually confused or ambivalent state because things aren’t so bad. In this state of confusion, they cannot be asked to make a determination, so they will rationalize remaining with their partner, waiting around for something to occur that will make it clearer as to if they ought to keep the marriage together or not.

For other people, a fear of the unknown is merely too daunting; therefore, they become numb or make themselves busy to make life with their spouse bearable (for instance, by alcohol/drug addiction, workaholism, and excessive spending). In a few instances, this fear of leaving isn’t about unknown circumstances, instead, it’s the known which paralyzes them.

If you are tired of sacrificing your happiness and are ready to move ahead with your divorce, contact our Chicago divorce attorney office at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.

Most of the individuals who divorce have had an idea that their relationship was over before they started to really separate physically. When asked of these individuals what the reason was for not exiting sooner, the main reason given is, ‘because of the children.’ There isn’t any doubt that all parents who have stated this believe wholeheartedly that it was a selfless and noble reason to remain. Sacrificing their happiness and staying seems as if it’s the right thing to do.

Oftentimes, the ones who feel dedicated to keeping the marriage together to this level are kids of divorce themselves. They’ll vow that they won’t put their kids through what they were left to go through. What they do not comprehend is that they may get divorced or separated differently than their parents and spare the kids a lot of what they suffered. How the pair divorces will do more to decide how well kids will react than the simple truth that they divorced.

While I’d concur that being a great parent will entail giving up a huge piece of yourself each day, I additionally understand that you can’t give what you do not have. If you aren’t happy, your kids undoubtedly will feel that and suffer a little, too, even if you do not believe your unhappiness shows. Kids are impacted negatively by being exposed to a tense, loveless, angry environment, irrespective of the circumstances where it has been created. They’re impacted more deeply due to them not having yet built the level of defenses up that we have. It’s like they have half of the thickness of skin we adults do. The great news is that they ARE more resilient than we adults are, permitting them to recover quicker from unhealthy environments.

As you remain in an unhappy, unfulfilling, or abusive marriage, kids come to think that marriages are experiences which entail pain, suffering, and a gradual death. You aren’t happy, your partner isn’t happy and, consequently, your children aren’t happy. The world does not need more married individuals for the sake of having married individuals - it should have more happy individuals!

If you are tired of sacrificing your happiness and are ready to move ahead with your divorce, contact our Chicago divorce attorney office at (312) 884-1222 for a free consultation.

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