Tips for Parents who are Divorcing Part 1

 Posted on March 17,2014 in Uncategorized

Co-parenting with an ex-partner will have its challenges, not the least of which includes communicating with somebody you might’ve been thoroughly unable to speak to, or even be within the same room with. But, your kids deserve the best out of both parents, whether you can stand one another or not.

Below are tips on how you can get along long enough with your ex-spouse to make certain your youngster's physical and emotional needs are met and assist your kids in getting through the divorce feeling secure and loved. This is part 1 of a 2-part series.

(1) Divorced parents may succeed at co-parenting.

(2) If you haven’t already done so, call a truce with your ex-partner.

(3) Set up a business relationship with your ex-partner. The business includes the co-parenting of your kid(s). In a business relationship there aren’t any expectations of approval and emotional support or emotional attachments. Appointments will be made to discuss business, meetings will take place, agendas will be provided, and discussions concentrate on the business at hand. Everybody is formal, polite, courtesies are observed, agreements are explicit, and communication is direct, written, and clear. You don’t have to like those you do business with, yet you must place negative feelings on the back burner to do business. Relating within a business-like way with a previous partner may feel awkward and strange. If you find yourself behaving within an ‘unbusiness’-like way, abruptly end the discussions and continue them at another time.

(4) Provide the other spouse the benefit of the doubt. Don’t second-guess her/him concerning rewards or discipline.

(5) Don’t suggest potential plans or directly make time arrangements with kids under twelve, and always confirm all arrangements you’ve talked about with an older kid with the additional spouse as soon as you can.

(6) Return and send kids who are fed, rested, and clean.

(7) Don’t use caller ID or an answering machine to screen calls from the additional spouse, or restrict phone accessibility between your kids and the additional parent. Make sure that the kids are available to talk with the additional parent on the phone up until their actual bedtime.

(8) Don’t talk about divorce disputes with your kids or permit them to overhear you talk about these problems with other people. Don’t speak ill of the additional parent or her/his relatives, loved ones, or friends in front of the kids. Don’t use facial expressions, body language, or additional subtleties to express negative emotions and thoughts regarding the other spouse.

(9) Don’t send money or messages with your kids.

10) Support your kid’s right to visit their extended family and grandparents. Kids benefit from knowing their heritage and roots. Keep in mind, neither extended family is worse or better than the other – they’re just different.

(11) Don’t ask your kids for information regarding the other spouse’s household, activities, income, or friends.

(12) Don’t act as a referee, mediator, or defense lawyer between your kids and the additional parent.

If you have further questions about the divorce process, contact us today at our Chicago child visitation attorney’s office at (312) 884-1222 or fill out our easy contact form for a free consultation.

Stay tuned for Part 2

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