Tips for Parents who are Divorcing Part 2

 Posted on March 18, 2014 in Uncategorized

Here are some tips on how to get along well enough with your ex to make sure your children's emotional and physical needs are met and help your children get through the divorce feeling loved and secure. This is part 2 of a 2-part series.

(13) During time to pick up, don’t honk the car horn in front of the additional parent’s house. But, do not go in the house either – unless you’re invited in. Arrive on time for drop-off and pick-up and have your kids prepared to go.

(14) Transfers may be uncomfortable times. Be patient and kind with one another and the kids.

(15) Never place your kids within a position in which they must select between parents or determine where allegiance lies.

(16) Expect the kids to feel guilty, confused, abandoned and/or sad, in response to your separation/divorce. Acknowledge these feelings as being normal and tell them that although the family is going through a big change, your ex-spouse and you always are going to be their parents.

(17) Keep in mind, even if the additional spouse disappoints your youngster or doesn’t honor a commitment, tell your youngster that despite her/his shortcomings, the additional spouse loves the youngster a lot.

(18) If the children want to chat, just hear them out.

(19) Keep kids informed of the details of their lives and the divorce/separation so they’re able to understand.

(20) Sustain as many continuation of environment, relationships, and rituals as you can for the kids.

(21) If you must modify the schedule, alert the additional spouse as soon as you can.

(22) Your youngster’s relationship with parents influences his/her relationships for the remainder of his/her life. Permit him/her to love each parent without the fear of hurting or angering the other.

(23) Keep in mind that schedules must occasionally change in order to accommodate your youngster’s development and the additional parent.

(24) Keep money problems separate from parenting problems.

(25) You’re stuck with one another. One day, you’ll be Grandfather and Grandmother to the same babies. Think about cooperating with each other to build communication and trust up.

(26) Tell the kids of your pending separation together prior to one spouse leaving. If possible, prepare a transition time.

(27) Make sure that girlfriends, boyfriends, and potential step fathers/mothers stay out of the divorce, go slow, and do not interfere in a youngster’s relationship with either of her/his biological parents.

(28) Divorce isn’t an event, it’s a process. Permit your ex-spouse, yourself, and the kids at least 2 years for a readjustment period.

(29) In itself, divorce won’t destroy the kids. It’s your reaction to divorce which will have the power to damage their coping mechanisms.

(30) Do not use the kids to fill your necessity for companionship. If you do not have a life, GET ONE! It’s critical to the recovery of your children and you.

If you have further questions about the divorce process, contact us today at our Chicago child visitation attorney’s office at (312) 884-1222 or fill out our easy contact form for a free consultation.